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this is the archives of my old blog. Follow me at http://martinrouge.blogspot.com/ whenever I post!

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Divide and conquer

I've recently let go of the past (my job) and embraced the future (a complete unknown) and it's still not quite sinking in. There are reasons for that: I'm still battling for back pay, I'm still dealing with anxiety and depression and I have no real idea what the future will hold for me. I'm in that shaky ground, the transitional phase between the old and the new, and the new is being pretty coy about it's nature.

There are some instances of the past that were resurrected and have brought some measure of fruits: some of my Chapelle Nitrique tracks, created years ago, are being published on the Bone Structure label. It has also forced me to rethink my creative endeavours: I focused a lot of time and energy on my folk project (under whatever name) and, since the dissolution of the band (back a few years ago), nothing substantial has come forward to replace it. I have worked on some new songs, to a degree; I have a better understanding of what I want to do (a little), but the energy and time has yet to be set aside and focused so that can arrive at some tangible result.

On the other hand, I'm going to be gaming again next weekend, which is something that hasn't happened in a long time. And for once, I'm not the one that's putting it all together. I'm just going to ride that wave in and see where that takes me. With any luck, it might spark back my writing, so that I can move forward with that too. I've been in a constant state of rut, barebone ideas stagnating in my head, with the blank page staring at me in contempt. But I know it's only temporary, and that's something that I'll overcome.

A long overdue tool has been added to my culinary universe, the long-desired chest freezer. Now I can really take advantage of grocery specials, as large-batch preparations are far more within my reach. Two recipes and I'd run out of freezer space. Now, many a thing can be prepared in advance, so that we are not stuck when the money runs thin.

I don't know what day job I'll have in the near future. I'm running on the hope that I'll be able to get unemployment benefits, and along with that, access to advice and training. One can hope, as I'm burnt out of call center. I cant go back, and I wont go back.

If only I could sleep again...

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